‘TIS THE SEASON
I have never written a blog specifically because a friend asked me to. But here goes my very first inaugural “commissioned” blog post!!
Do you know what season we are in currently? Not football. Not back-to-school. Not even Christmas shopping for you early birds. It is RUSH season. Where freshmen and sophomores go through college rush. The pictures will be posted on Instagram and Facebook.
I am writing about the pictures that don’t get posted. A girl crying until her eyes are red and her face blotchy or collapsing into her mother’s or best friend’s arms. It can be brutal. Sorority rush. It is what happens when you don’t get your bid. You get CUT. This is the ABSOLUTELY perfect description of rejection. It is like taking a knife and gutting a girl’s self-esteem, her worth and everything she thought she knew about the world. No amount of Mederma or Vitamin E is going to erase that wound.
I have two experiences from sorority rush. The first was really awful. The second was worse.
I was a freshman the first time I went out for rush. I was cut after the fifth day. Even though I was a double legacy I was sad. But I also knew the truth about myself and so it was just a topographical wound.
The second time I was a sophomore. I had been dorm president, SGA Senator, inducted into Lambda Sigma honorary for rising sophomores and knew a ton of people. I was ready. On the last day I got cut. Never mind, that a legacy should get a courtesy cut on the third day they took me to the last day before inflicting the wound. I went home thinking I would never go back to Auburn.
We may tell our children it doesn’t matter but we turn around and buy outfits, call people to get recommendations and all those other things.
Because the truth is, when we go out for rush, we want people to like us. We want people to WANT us. That is one of the most basic human emotions. A basic desire to “belong”. As a parent, it is hard to mount an argument against something as fundamental as acceptance. Getting rejected before school even gets started seems barbaric. Being deemed “Unchosen” when you are 18 or any age, is a hard thing to recover from.
College is not the real world. You’re probably going to do just fine out in the “real” world! I still can summon the raw hurt after all these years. I wish I had some enlightened advice. Because “it SUCKS” isn’t exactly profound. In truth it takes a while to stitch up one’s heart and maybe it doesn’t get completely stitched back. My scars are still there. I wish I had some magic suture that would stitch the wound up until it disappears.
Unfortunately, just like acceptance, being unchosen is a part of life. Spouses, friends, teammates and sororities at some point may let you down. We have to forget our “followers” and concentrate more on our “friends”.
I did go back to Auburn. I got up and went to class. Every. Single. Stupid day. Until the pain wasn’t the first and last thing I thought about. It is up to us to CHOOSE ourselves. The question becomes what do YOU do next?